Saturday, March 27, 2010

Flash Fiction: Unoriginal Sin

My writing has been running long recently (over 3,000 words per story or part of story) so I used on of ERWA's writing tools - the 200 word flash fiction - to see if I could still hack story telling with brevity. The result risks committing (bad) poetry but I think manages to hang on to prose.

Ket me know what you think.

Flasher: Unoriginal Sin

© Mike Kimera 2010

There was a time

When my flesh saluted every young girl

Who smiled at me

Or absent-mindedly lifted her hair off her neck

Or rested a pencil on her plump lower lip

When all my blood raced for one woman

With dark, serious eyes

Who saw who I was and chose me anyway

Opening herself like a flower beneath a bee

When laughter was the soundtrack to our sex

Every bed, sofa, and table

Risked collapse under the weight of raucous ruts

That left us inextricably entwined

There came a time when

My lust-noose tightened for the forbidden

Flesh I had no right to knowledge of

Offered ripe and ready and without restraint

Swallowing me whole and leaving us broken

Months later

My heart held tight to forgiveness

Unspoken and undeserved

Dispensed with gentle touches and sad smiles

That left me drowning in her hurt-filled eyes

My mind marveled that my body could betray

All that made it sing

For some moments of intense release

That were not escape but panicked flight


My atheist soul whispers a prayer of praise

For strong, tenacious, abused love

That held me when I let go of myself

And daily grants me redemption


janeway said...

You say "poetry" like it's a bad thing!

I think this qualifies as poetry, and very effective poetry as well. The rhythm and structure support language which is lyrical, in telling an emotional story. Which, in my opinion, is what poetry does.

If, however, that makes you squirm, I guess I could say it's very poetic prose.:-)

Mike Kimera said...

Hi Janeway,

Thank you.

I'm not anti-poetry, quite the reverse, but I've never really understood the rules for free verse so I don't have a basis for knowing whether I'm breaking any of them in this piece.

Anyway, thank you for commenting on it. I'm glad you enjoyed it.